One Year

A year has gone by since I started on this journey. To say that there have been a few bumps in the road is an understatement! The road has been full of curves, bumps, highs, lows...and everything in between. And now, a year later, I am back in the midst of uncertainty & wondering what the next stop for me will be. I have some difficult decisions ahead of me but today I will only stop to reflect on the good, the bad, & even maybe a little ugly.

Actually, let's start w/ the ugly.

- Denmark is a racist country. There. I said it. I may be deported as a result but it's true. For all their propaganda about being a liberal nation w/ the most open minded people...I've never been around people that are so openly biased against other people. Anti American - I expected. But Danes are extremely anti-Muslim & have zero tolerance for the people they consider to be 'ruining' their ideals & traditions. People who look even remotely Arabic are sometimes ridiculed openly, taunted, & treated differently from others. It's sad to witness.

- Danes are too proud & stubborn for their own good. Nothing is better than Denmark. No one is better than a Dane. The world should follow the example of this country & if it did, the world would be a much much better place. How arrogant!!! If the entire world was this vanilla, we'd all be in coma of boredom. Trust me. It's true.

And now, the bad...

- I miss my dog. Terribly.

- I miss my family & friends.

- I miss the sun.

- Working here has not worked out for me. The more time I spend here, the more I kill my career opportunities.

- If one more person asks me what 'batch' I am from, I might scream (this is also work related).

- My liver hurts from living in Copenhagen. (On the plus side, My drinking tolerance has gone from lightweight to middleweight.

- I miss turning on the news & knowing what is happening locally.

- "I just want to be friends" is shitty no matter how sexy of an accent you have.

- I've never gotten used to not being able to afford mani/pedi's, haircuts, etc!

Ok, I'm sure I could go on...But I will end on a positive note...The GOOD....

- I do enjoy being social & man I have had some good times!

- I've met some really fabulous people & I want to take those friendships w/ me wherever I go.

- I actually like riding my bike!!!!! (Still not so much when the winds pick up or it's raining though)

- So I really CAN lose weight. I just had to move to Copenhagen!

- I miss my family but sometimes it's a little nice that they can't just pick up a phone and call. lol.

- I've gone on some really cool trips!

- I feel ok here. It's not home but I am relatively happy despite all the challenges.

- I don't have to listen to all the US political rhetoric & even more importantly, I have NO CLUE what Kim Kardashian did now....And I LIKE IT.

- Absence does make the heart grow fonder. I have a better understanding of what & who is really important to me now.

- I love buying scarves!

- Patience. I'm learning to have some patience.  

- What hasn't killed me, has made me stronger

- And last but certainly not least (for now)..... If I had never come here, I would still be wondering 'what if'. I have no regrets. I'm blessed & grateful.

Stolen Quote

Got this from another blog that was written by an American Expat in Denmark:

If you're an extrovert when you move here, Denmark will make you an introvert. If you're already an introvert, Denmark will make you a spinster.

Less than 2 hours away & a world apart

Before I get too far ahead of myself, I will remind myself (and you) that I like living in Denmark. This place has a certain charm that I can't quite explain & it's grown on me enough that (as I've mentioned before) will be hard to leave behind.

Now...that being said...I went to Liverpool for a work a couple of days ago & within minutes felt like I had stepped into a land of normalcy & had a very quick reminder of how 'different' everything really is here. When we were seated at restaurants, the waiters held the chair out for the ladies (much to the dismay of the Danes I was travelling with). The food had flavor & every menu offered up desserts!  People said please & thank you. Almost everyone smiled & said hello as they passed us by. I went to a mall. A real flippin' mall. And there was a GAP! A GAP!!! And when you walk through the stores, people actually wanted to help me. I saw drive through's & chain restaurants & ok I know this all sounds really cheap & gross but you have to understand...that's 'normal'. That's capitalism. This is what the 21st century looks like. Let's embrace it. I live in retro world - welcome to "throwback land" where you literally feel like the progress of the last 100 years just hasn't quite made its way to you. I'm pretty sure that no one here even knows what a bluetooth even looks like. But even if you can forget all that, the fact is manners & chivalry are 2 concepts that just drowned somewhere in the ocean before it could make its way to Denmark. It. Just. Doesn't. Exist.

Brits are supposedly known for their stiff upper lips (and bad teeth of course) but I found them all to be so warm & friendly compared to what I have come to know about Danes. I was fascinated by the fact that I could understand the local news. I loved that on my last day in the office, the receptionist hugged me & said she would miss me. I've spent almost a year getting to know some of the locals here & I am still relatively surprised if they crack a smile as I walk by. Now, if they could just drive on the right side of the road...ah..but I digress.

When I arrived today, I struggled to carry my suitcase up the stairs from the train station, as 6 men looked on & laughed. Then, I got on the bus & an elderly woman of about 75 years old pushed me because she wanted to stand in the spot that I was standing & trying to hold my suitcase. This is not England. This is not America. Hell, this is not like any place in the world. This is Denmark & they are proud of it. Me? Give me about a week & a few bottles of wine & I'll start remembering again what it is I like so much about being here. Until then, God Save the Queen.

St Patty's Day - The Before & After

Growing up in Miami, St. Patty's Day was never really a big deal. We much prefer Cinco De Mayo, Noche Buena, Dia de los Reyes Magos....ummm basically anything in Spanish. ;-)

But then I moved to Charlotte, NC & the Irish in me really started coming up, particularly in March. After 3 years of marathon pub crawls, I have to admit that I was a little heartbroken to be away this year on the big day.

Alas, Copenhagen did NOT disappoint. My day consisted of meeting random Irish people at an Irish bar, being given a hat by someone that may have been a leprechaun in another life, getting quite a few free drinks from a Dane (FYI - this is an almost unheard of phenomenon), several run ins w/ people I know from work, a house party to end all house parties (NOT hosted by me this time), green jello shots, something called sucker punch, meeting the guy who lived in my apartment before me, reciting quite loudly all the words to Hustling by Rick Ross, & well...good times over all. Want proof....Check out the before & after....

And yes, I do think I am getting too old for this. :)

Starting the day

Ending the night (SMH in embarrassment - ha!)

Random Musings

I don't tweet. I don't update my facebook religiously with every thought that goes through my brain. And now we realize I am a terrible blogger too. But I regularly have random little observations & thought it might be worth jotting down a few....

So in no particular order...

Best Comment heard in a meeting regarding Customer Stakeholder Management this week... "Wait. Did you put Customers on the list?" "Oh shit. We forgot the customers!" (Even funnier if you know that we are in Centre Customer Service)

Worst Joke heard in a meeting last week: "What is 6 inches long & won't be sucked on Valentine's Day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe" <- Danes are not very PC. Seriously, I had 2 meetings start w/ this joke last week

Oh, note to all men out there...You really should quit 'flirting' after I tell you I have a boyfriend. I've lied to you for a reason.

No club should ever play the theme song from Rocky. Everyone fake boxing each other is not really what you should be seeing on the dance floor.

Tranny go-go dancers & People playing with fire (literally). That sums up the club I went to last night.

When you have a meeting with your company's new CCO, you should probably confirm your dress is long enough to cover your lady parts. Just sayin'.

It is NOT ok to say "You look great for your age because you love life" Always always drop the 'for your age' part. The lesson here is I need older friends.

When I tell you I am from the US, your face shouldn't look so disappointed.

When I tell you I am from Miami, your follow up question shouldn't be "So you live like luxury?"

When I tell you my father is Cuban, your response should not be "Everyone should visit Cuba now while it still has its beauty & charm. Once Castro dies, the Americans will just make it another tourist trap"

When I tell you what company I work for, you should not assume I am rich. (PS - This only happens in Denmark. The rest of the world knows better)

It is not ok for you to ask me how much my salary is or how much my rent is...especially if you are a colleague.  

It is still disturbing for me to see teenagers walking around with beer cans & champagne bottles. The American in me doesn't believe teenagers should be drinking. Wait...Is that the American in me or the Old Lady in me?

Oh, also, don't start your meeting w/ me by saying "Now take off your jacket & let's get on with it" Makes me feel like I should press play on the ipod & start a show.

In writing the above, I realize I go to too many meetings. Maybe I need to search for a life outside the office.

I will not miss how thin the walls are here. Not interested in hearing my neighbor's conversations that begin promptly at 8 am every Saturday & Sunday.

I'm now confused & disturbed when people randomly start conversations with me. Just another sign that I need to go back to the South.

...I feel so much better now that I have gotten these important items off my chest. Phew. What a relief.

Have a good day y'all. :)

So I've been a little lost. And I don't just mean in reference to my lack of blogging. It's hard to sit & explain the goings on at the moment, mostly because I myself don't know how I feel about everything.

Copenhagen, oh how you confuse me so. My time here is quickly coming to an end & so now the search for work in the US has begun. This is a very bittersweet time for me.

I'm excited to return HOME (Denmark has never really felt like home to me) & be near my loved ones & my doggie who I have missed more than anyone can understand. I'm fascinated by the idea that in a few short months, I can jump into my car & drive over to a salon & not lose my entire salary in getting a manicure. Yep, I haven't changed much & these are still the things I miss. I look forward to understanding every conversation around me. I'm anticipating being in the land of the free & the home of the brave...and more importantly, be able to say that & have someone understand what the hell I am referring to.

But make no mistake, my time spent here has been full of fun, good times, great people, exciting moments, & I will be sad the day it comes to an end. I've come to enjoy my bicycle...and even more importantly, enjoy the fact that I am leaving some lbs in Denmark as a result of it. hehehe.... I'll miss the people that I have grown attached to. I'll miss wearing a scarf all the freaking time, even in summer. I'll miss it all...Well, that's not true. I won't miss it ALL. There's plenty here I won't miss but that's all work related & I won't get into that now.

The point is...when the day comes, there will be a smile on my lips but also a tear in my eye.

Sorry, I don't understand...

Interesting read on how the Danish language & foreigners. Yes, I believe local languages should be preserved, however, sending me an invite to a Danish class in DANISH is a little over the top!

http://www.b.dk/english/speak-danish-please

Well this just about sums it up better than I ever could....

http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/how-to-piss-off-a-dane/

Danish Honesty

I'm reading a book called "The Xenophobe's Guide to the Danes". According to the website for the book, it is "A guide to understanding the Danes that highlights their character and behaviour with warmth and wit."

So far, I find that the book is a little full of it...But one quote from the book came to mind today....

"...But once their occasional childlike lack of tact is forgiven, everyone likes the Danes."

I was about to enter my apartment when I saw the only neighbor that I know coming down the stairs. He's a young, Danish guy who I've chatted with a couple of times & I always find conversations with him a little....well...odd. But not because he is odd. He is just a very Danish guy & I am very un-Danish. Today was no exception.

We stopped to say hello & chat for a minute & he asked about my Christmas & I asked if he had plans for New Year's. He's hosting a party in his apartment & asked if I wanted to come. And then he remembered that he had an additional 5 girls coming after dinner which totally throws off the male/female ratio of the party. My neighbor then said that I was welcome to join for dinner but would be better if I didn't stay for the party so as to not throw off the numbers too much.

Does this sound strange to you? Had this conversation taken place at this time last year, I may have completely died of shock & awe at the rudeness of the person. However, as the book suggests, Danes have a childlike lack of tact that apparently must be forgiven. And this is just another example of the cultural differences between us. To him, that is not rude...Just a matter of fact. And to me, that is not rude, Just a matter of him being a Dane.

I constantly spend my days thinking that this a country in serious need of change. But in the end, we are the ones that change. Foreigners come into this country & only leave a small dent in the fibers of the culture of this country. Sure, there's a small foreign influence that exists today - but in the end, it's the foreigners that adopt the attitudes & ideals of the Danes & accept odd behaviours as 'normal'.

As far as the invitation goes, as exciting as it sounds to join a typical Danish dinner & then gracefully slink back downstairs when the party starts to make way for the 5 additional women that will show up to throw of the balance of testosterone vs estrogen in my neighbor's apartment - I think I will pass. I have a book to read. And then I might write a book of my own. Just sayin'....

Christmas

In my family, Christmas Eve was always 'the big celebration'. We'd gather at my Godmother's house in the early evening & by 8pm, the house was full of distant relatives & family friends, the Salsa music was pumping through the speakers, the lechon being roasted in the caja china, & the smell of mojo filling the air. The older men were playing dominoes close to the pig so they can keep an eye on it between games. The older women were in the kitchen making the rice, the black beans, yucca, & other foods. I never fully appreciated the traditions & the deliciousness of the food. I was a very picky eater & my family had to make macaroni & cheese just for me so that I would eat something. Believe me, I got over that one. There would be games, dancing, good food, & wonderful memories.

As the years have gone by, that tradition has ended. The same house is now empty on Christmas as my cousins usually go away for Christmas. It's been a few years that my brothers & I have even been in the same city on Christmas. When I lived in Charlotte, I would spend it with the dog, watching TV.

This Christmas, I am in Europe. Surrounding myself with people was the key to not waxing poetic about traditions & good times that I haven't even had in almost 10 years anyway. A small group of us (all American) decided to spend Christmas Eve in Malmö, Sweden. Turns out that Malmö is just a little bit of a ghost town during Christmas. Stores, museums, cafe's, bars, restaurants...all closed. The only place that was open....was Mc Donald's. And so to Mc Donald's we went. 4 Americans in search of a connection to home. We ate & laughed a little at the irony & then went off again for another little walk throughout the empty town.

And then we heard the Christmas music. Somewhere in the distance, you can hear "White Christmas" & other standards playing. It didn't take long to find that the music was playing from a speaker at an open air ice skating rink. An empty ice skating rink. The 4 of us spent almost an hour sitting on a bench, listening to the music, occasionally gliding around on the ice (not on skates obviously), & just staring out at the empty rink. Not sure what everyone else was thinking of....But for me, my mind wandered off back to the smells & sounds of a typical Miami Christmas with my family. I was grateful for the opportunity to be in Europe, happy to not be alone, & hopeful that the future has way more in store for the 4 of us that were there than an empty skating rink. Every day is a blessing, we just don't always see it.

Oh and someone please remind me of this the next time I start to go off about something....Thanks.



What is up with the peeing folks?

Now that I have waxed poetic about all the good....Let me explain something I truly don't understand about this country: They are fascinated w/ peeing in public.

This is not something that is exclusive to men. Women do it, too. All the time. There isn't a single weekend night that goes by that I don't see someone going to the bike lane, leaning against a wall, or jumping in between the bike racks to get their pee on. I. Don't. Get. It.

It happened just now as I was coming back from a friend's place & this time the lovely gentleman had chosen the wall next to the entrance of my building. What a sweety.

I understand that this is a country where the viking blood runs deep. But during the day (which by the way, daytime is almost non existent right now) these same people spend as much time as possible at the gym, getting waxed (yes, men too), tanning, & basically being as groomed as possible. Yet at night, the oh so classy side of the Danes comes out. One Tuborg too many & there they go. The earth is their toilet. It's so bad that there are even certain streets where you describe them by saying "You know...It's the street that always smells like pee."

I don't understand or appreciate this habit as I personally don't want to turn the corner to see a man leaning against a wall....and then turning around to see a woman squatting in between 2 bikes AS IF that could possibly cover anything. It's not pretty people.

If I were a twitterer, this is where I would write #damncountryisstrange.

Thanksgiving

American holidays tend to be a difficult time for many expats. Fortunately for me, I haven't had that experience so far. For the 4th of July I went to an Embassy Party & also dinner w/ an American friend. On Halloween, I went to a costume party & managed to have a great time with about 15 other 'foreigners'. And now comes Thanksgiving.

Since I just came back from visiting family & friends, I was a) still a little jetlagged and b) still on the high of having been w/ my loved ones. So Thanksgiving really didn't phase me. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised when a number of Danes wished me a "Happy Thanksgiving" to which I consistently replied w/ "Gobble Gobble" much to their amusement & delight.

That evening, an American friend of mine (same as the one that I shared the 4th of July with) & I went to dinner @ a Canadian burger joint. I won't dare say that it's close enough so as to not insult my Canadian friends. However, let's just say that the burgers were 'almost American'. (I hope I am safe with that description.) I had a lovely evening of good food, good company, no food coma and DEF no family throwdowns. Not that any of that happens in MY family. ;-)

This Sunday, I will celebrate again at a Thanksgiving luncheon hosted by another American friend of mine. I can't promise that there won't be a food coma this time. The menu will consist of all the traditional fixin's & I simply can't wait.

Just thinking about it all makes me go Yuuummmmmmm......

The Danish reaction to a Danish

Ok Americans. Listen up. The Danish (the delicious pastry we love to enjoy in a cheese or fruit variety) does not actually exist in Denmark. This came has a major disappointment to me when I first arrived to Denmark. I did not appreciate this as all I wanted was to enjoy a cheesy & fruity pastry delight that was covered in icing in the very country for which it has its namesake.

However, the Danes do not believe in icing, the processed cheese in a Danish is nonexistent in Denmark, and the fruity deliciousness is not used in any pastry in this country. They do have pastries, and they are good, but it's not what we think of AT ALL. Sooo....while I was in the US, I picked up a box of Cheese Danishes while at WalMart to bring back & share w/ my Danish colleagues.

First, there was confusion. "What IS this?" That was followed by amusement. "Wow! Whatever this is, it's named after OUR people". This was then followed by curiousity. "Hmm....Should I taste it?" But that only led to disgust. "This stuff is processed & fake & not at all what our fabulous country represents" ....Ultimately, it was almost a dare. Who would eat it? Who would eat more than 1? I only brought back 1 box. This box had 6 in it. As of today, there is still 1 left & no one will touch it.

Between us....I'm dying to eat it but don't want to be caught by the Danes eating the American Danish. However, I will never let a yummy treat go to waste so in all likelihood, expect me to snatch it sometime next week....and gosh darnit...I will LIKE IT.

It's Been A While

And it's not that I have forgotten how to blog. Promise. But things have been a little hectic. The good news is that I recently had a chance to see most of you & catch up in person. Being home really refreshed my batteries & renewed my spirit in ways that I can't explain.

I loved being h-o-m-e. Spending time w/ my bestie, my dog, my family, & my friends is incomparable to any experience that I could have abroad.

However, that being said, being home made me realize something important...I am not ready to come back. I came to Copenhagen with a goal. One single purpose. And that goal has not been achieved so packing up & heading home now would only make the past 7 months a waste of my time. And I am not one to enjoy wasted time. I miss you. I love you. I LOVED being with you. But I had to come back. And I have to focus on what lies ahead. I will be back. The US is my home. It's where I ultimately belong. But right here, right now...This is where I should be. And if nothing else, being away for 2 weeks made me realize that.

And even as I type it out, I shake my head in disbelief as I never thought I would think that.

I know I've been here too long when...

.... I know more about the Rugby Finals than I do about American football.
                 France is in the finals & today is the deciding match between Australia & New Zealand. Quite the nail biter if you happen to want to be at a bar at 6 am.

.... I'm annoyed when I can't download Danish music because I am still using American I Tunes.
                 If you get a chance, look up Fallulah on YouTube. I would say she's as good as Adele or Florence & the Machine!

....I know all the artists nominated for Danish Act of the Year @ MTV's European Music Awards...And I have a favorite! (I think it'll be Medina)

....I don't even blink when paying 35 DKK for a juice at Joe & The Juice (until yesterday when, for fun, I did the math & realized I had just paid close to 7 USD for a strawberry/banana juice!)

....I now own more scarves than I do flip flops.


               

The Morning After

So now you know that I decided to stay a little longer. Just after the decision was made official, I had a wonderful morning after. I was riding in to work (I still laugh at that) & it was an absolutely beautiful morning. The weather was very crisp & quite cool (I'm already using gloves & swapped a sweater for a jacket in the morning in addition to a scarf - which is basically now a staple to my wardrobe). But despite the chill, the sun was rising & the morning was serene & picturesque. Sunrise is now just before 8 am & sunsets, which are equally amazing here, are now around 5:45pm so it coincides with my working hours on most days.

So for some reason, this morning was calling my attention & since I had just received an SMS that my morning meeting was cancelled, I wasn't in a particular hurry to get into the office. That gave me an opportunity to stop at certain points along my ride & take some pictures. At one point, a woman stopped her Christiania Bike (will explain later) alongside mine & said exactly what I was thinking "Isn't it a beautiful morning? I take this route every morning & I've never seen it as pretty as it is today." It must've been something really special because if there is anything that I've learned, it's that Danes do not randomly stop to chat w/ strangers.

So here are some pics of this 'beautiful morning'. I am sure I didn't do it any justice.

The Little Mermaid

Windmills Across the Harbor

(My Bunjee Jumping Experience was just to the left of that)

Sunrise

The Kastellet

Hans Christian Andersen was from Denmark so you have to wonder if it was looking at Swans like these that gave him his inspiration for "The Ugly Duckling"

A Christiania Bike -

This is a bicycle w/ a cart in the front to carry your children in. It is usually big enough that you will even see 5 year olds in it but it more likely that a 5 year old is already riding a 2 wheeler. This is more commonly used for transporting babies & smaller children. These bikes can run into the 3-4000 USD range.

And.....

After months of anxiety, stress, consideration, reconsideration, self evaluation, and so much more in between....I decided to accept the extension that was offered to me.

It came down to an objective (trying like a crazy lady to keep my feelings out of this one) overview of what I wanted the end game to be. And in the end, my objectives would (hopefully) be better met by staying & continuing to tackle the challenges that I am faced with here.

I still struggle w/ the decision because I desperately miss my dog, my family, my friends, etc in addition to not really 'loving' the work I am doing but I am very blessed to at least have good friends, a roof over my head, & an opportunity to continue to explore Europe to keep me going.

So here's to the next 8 months....I hope that it will continue to bring me good material to share w/ you & that you will continue to join me on this ever changing ride.

Cheers from Sunny (but chilly) Denmark!

6 Months & Only Indecisiveness Prevails

As time goes on, the days start to melt together. It was only late last night that I even remembered that yesterday was the 1st of the month, & I had reached my 6 month mark here. Unfortunately, I'm not any closer to a decision on how much longer I want to stay & fortunately, I was given an extension on giving the decision.

My thought process is a little like this:

Wake up, realize that I have to bike to work & it's pretty cold outside - "That's it, I'm leaving"
Just before leaving for work, I look in the mirror, realize that the biking is helping me to look a little slimmer - "Oh hells to the no - I gots to stay!"
Get to work & read my emails. Find out that everything that was promised to me the day before, is never gonna happen - "I can just ride a stationary bike back home. I'm blowin' this joint!"
Go to breakfast, realize I don't pay for it (except for a small stipen out of my salary) - "Hmm....maybe I should...."

And basically, this goes on throughout the day. There's falls from the bike (yes, again & again) that make me realize this place isn't for me. Then there's phone calls from nice friends who want to go out sometime in the week that always remind me I am not alone & I should stay. And the vicious cycle continues. 

I won't go on. Let's not bore you with all the details. My promise to you this month is that I will go back to finding the good so that I have something interesting to blog about. 

Stay tuned for more....And just don't give up on me yet. ;-) 

Pretty Pictures

Just because I can't find nice things to say doesn't mean I don't have nice things to show you. :)

At the Glypotek in Copenhagen

From the Glyptotek

Kronberg Castle in Helsingor, Denmark

(Castle used as the setting for Shakespeare's "Hamlet")

Rose in Kongens Have (King's Garden) in Copenhagen

Sunset in Stockholm, Sweden

(Where I spent my 32nd Birthday)



The Difference

Still no decision on what is going to happen or how long I will stay but in the meantime, just thought you would enjoy seeing the difference a few months can make...

Check out my pro bike riding skills. lol.