Danish Honesty

I'm reading a book called "The Xenophobe's Guide to the Danes". According to the website for the book, it is "A guide to understanding the Danes that highlights their character and behaviour with warmth and wit."

So far, I find that the book is a little full of it...But one quote from the book came to mind today....

"...But once their occasional childlike lack of tact is forgiven, everyone likes the Danes."

I was about to enter my apartment when I saw the only neighbor that I know coming down the stairs. He's a young, Danish guy who I've chatted with a couple of times & I always find conversations with him a little....well...odd. But not because he is odd. He is just a very Danish guy & I am very un-Danish. Today was no exception.

We stopped to say hello & chat for a minute & he asked about my Christmas & I asked if he had plans for New Year's. He's hosting a party in his apartment & asked if I wanted to come. And then he remembered that he had an additional 5 girls coming after dinner which totally throws off the male/female ratio of the party. My neighbor then said that I was welcome to join for dinner but would be better if I didn't stay for the party so as to not throw off the numbers too much.

Does this sound strange to you? Had this conversation taken place at this time last year, I may have completely died of shock & awe at the rudeness of the person. However, as the book suggests, Danes have a childlike lack of tact that apparently must be forgiven. And this is just another example of the cultural differences between us. To him, that is not rude...Just a matter of fact. And to me, that is not rude, Just a matter of him being a Dane.

I constantly spend my days thinking that this a country in serious need of change. But in the end, we are the ones that change. Foreigners come into this country & only leave a small dent in the fibers of the culture of this country. Sure, there's a small foreign influence that exists today - but in the end, it's the foreigners that adopt the attitudes & ideals of the Danes & accept odd behaviours as 'normal'.

As far as the invitation goes, as exciting as it sounds to join a typical Danish dinner & then gracefully slink back downstairs when the party starts to make way for the 5 additional women that will show up to throw of the balance of testosterone vs estrogen in my neighbor's apartment - I think I will pass. I have a book to read. And then I might write a book of my own. Just sayin'....

Christmas

In my family, Christmas Eve was always 'the big celebration'. We'd gather at my Godmother's house in the early evening & by 8pm, the house was full of distant relatives & family friends, the Salsa music was pumping through the speakers, the lechon being roasted in the caja china, & the smell of mojo filling the air. The older men were playing dominoes close to the pig so they can keep an eye on it between games. The older women were in the kitchen making the rice, the black beans, yucca, & other foods. I never fully appreciated the traditions & the deliciousness of the food. I was a very picky eater & my family had to make macaroni & cheese just for me so that I would eat something. Believe me, I got over that one. There would be games, dancing, good food, & wonderful memories.

As the years have gone by, that tradition has ended. The same house is now empty on Christmas as my cousins usually go away for Christmas. It's been a few years that my brothers & I have even been in the same city on Christmas. When I lived in Charlotte, I would spend it with the dog, watching TV.

This Christmas, I am in Europe. Surrounding myself with people was the key to not waxing poetic about traditions & good times that I haven't even had in almost 10 years anyway. A small group of us (all American) decided to spend Christmas Eve in Malmö, Sweden. Turns out that Malmö is just a little bit of a ghost town during Christmas. Stores, museums, cafe's, bars, restaurants...all closed. The only place that was open....was Mc Donald's. And so to Mc Donald's we went. 4 Americans in search of a connection to home. We ate & laughed a little at the irony & then went off again for another little walk throughout the empty town.

And then we heard the Christmas music. Somewhere in the distance, you can hear "White Christmas" & other standards playing. It didn't take long to find that the music was playing from a speaker at an open air ice skating rink. An empty ice skating rink. The 4 of us spent almost an hour sitting on a bench, listening to the music, occasionally gliding around on the ice (not on skates obviously), & just staring out at the empty rink. Not sure what everyone else was thinking of....But for me, my mind wandered off back to the smells & sounds of a typical Miami Christmas with my family. I was grateful for the opportunity to be in Europe, happy to not be alone, & hopeful that the future has way more in store for the 4 of us that were there than an empty skating rink. Every day is a blessing, we just don't always see it.

Oh and someone please remind me of this the next time I start to go off about something....Thanks.